


we are not fading away

by sagimooon



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst and Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, M/M, but i guess i kinda failed, originally it was intented to be only them flirting but then somehow angst got the way in, the fluff is supposed to be flirting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-16
Updated: 2020-11-16
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:15:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27594680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sagimooon/pseuds/sagimooon
Summary: Suna, Komori, and the small things between them.
Relationships: Komori Motoya/Suna Rintarou
Comments: 6
Kudos: 47





	we are not fading away

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! Before you start reading, I want to apologize for any grammar mistakes/typos in the text. I wrote this mostly at midnight and tiredness got the better of me, lol, but seriously please forgive me if the fic isn't really fluid, it's my first time writing anything that wasn't dumb clowns clowning around.

_ Tap. Tap. Tap. _

That’s the only sound that filled Suna Rintarou’s room, his thumb rhythmically touching the screen of his phone, switching from one Instagram story to the other. It was almost 2AM, but the thousands of lights of the city outside still illuminated his bedroom. He couldn’t sleep, the summer heat had always been too thick for him; so he was still awake, gaze and mind attached to the small device in his hands.

A party, a glass with a sparkling colorful cocktail, a walk by the seaside. He moved through all of them, until the stories switched to an icon of a smiling brown-haired man.

It looked like the man was playing cards with other boys they both knew. They were all laughing soundly, slapping each others’ backs. And they were all wearing a familiar red tshirt with a small Japanese flag on one side. 

Suna had also had a tshirt in common with that man, but its colors were light green and white, and the man had put it aside a few months ago to wear the red one proudly.

It wasn’t a bad thing, Suna was happy for him, yet he sighted. 

When the stories of the man ended, he roamed quickly through the others, then turned off his phone, and tried to go to sleep.

___________________

Suna dreaded that moment. 

He knew it was coming, he already knew hot it was going to end. Hadn’t it already happened in the past? could he see the pattern recreating itself, putting all elements together, waiting for the right moment to collapse.

It’s not that Suna wanted it, but he already accepted it. 

He knew that he shouldn’t have pretended, even imagined, that it wouldn’t have happened.

_ The world works like this,  _ he guessed.

It had happened in middle school, it had happened in high school, it for sure would’ve been going to happen now that he was an adult (it felt weird to say so).

At least this time he was prepared for it; he knew the symptoms, how to notice the clues that would lead to it. It didn’t mean that it was going to be easier, or to hurt less, but maybe knowing would help.

He meets people, they become friendly, he starts to feel a pull that begs him and them to get closer, spend more time together, then they become close friends, they spend happy moments together, create nice memories. Then it  _ stops _ . That pull starts becoming lighter and lighter until it begs him to cut things off once for all, to make this slow fading away end without making it awkward.

He spends some time alone, not even noticing it, then he starts again.

The truth is, after some time it became tiring. It sucked away the fun. Getting closer to someone just to diverge a few weeks, months, years later drained him.

He had deluded himself believing that now that he had started a professional career and he had a stable plan, he could have delay that moment for at least a few years, and that maybe, just maybe, those years would get delayed again until that deadline was so far away from him that it may as well never happen. He had let himself get closer to someone, and now that someone was going to be away for months, and when that someone was going to come back the precarious equilibrium between them would be ruined forever.

_ I may as well end this quickly,  _ he thought, so he slowly started to take his distance from that someone.The first days he had been away, they chatted incessantly, sending pictures, memes, endless streams of anecdotes to each other; then Suna started texting less and less, his answers getting dryer and dryer, until he stopped answering to the messages altogether.

_ It’s better this way _ , or so he said to himself. 

____________________

Suna Rintarou was the first person Komori Motoya had met when he went pro.

Komori may have looked like an easy-going person, but -secretly- travelling had always made him nervous. 

The day he had to move to a new city and a new team his train had been delayed, and after spending what felt like an endless torture in a metal cage he had run off the railway car. He had then walked for forty minutes, baggages swinging at his side, struggling to follow the route that his phone was suggesting him to reach his new home, until he had clashed with someone. They both lost balance, and the other person fell, bringing him down too. 

Komori looked at the face of the figure he had fallen on, just to meet a pair of golden green eyes he had already seen before.

“Hey,” Suna said.

“Hey,” Komori said too.

He then stood up, freeing Suna to do so too, brushing his hands and his clothes.

“Sorry, I didn’t see you,” he started to say, just to be interrupted by the other.

“No, it’s my fault, I was looking at my phone, it was me that didn’t see you.”

They stared at each other awkwardly for a few seconds, then Komori giggled and fixed his baggages in his hands. “Well, we had to meet each other one of these days.”

“Yep,” the other acknowledged. “Well, it was nice to meet you, see you again in a few days.”

“Yeah, see you later.”

They both started walking again.

Komori turned back, looking at Suna moving away.

“Wait!” he called him back. “Do you know where this address is?”

_________________

It turned out that they lived on opposing sides of the same block, on the fourth and the fifth floor respectively.

When a few hours later Suna looked out of his window, he saw Komori waving at him from the other side of the street.

_____________________

The first days of practice went as smoothly as it could be expected.

It was a bit hard to coordinate with a new team, to remember that the people around him weren’t the same he had played and spent time with for years.

Komori had caught himself almost asking “hey, how’s your dog?” or “why are you eating that for lunch? I thought you didn’t like it!” just to remind himself that those weren’t his high school teammates anymore, and that he still didn’t know anything about them yet.

It wasn’t that bad though, the new teammates were nice, and they were getting along prettily, or so he guessed.

He had to admit that he missed having close friends around him. He missed meeting having things in common with those people other than playing volleyball, even if it was dumb things like homework to do or going to buy snacks together. It was dumb and almost selfish to expect those same people to stay next to him now, not when they were all going on with their lives.

So he decided to take the lead in his own hands. 

He tried his best to bond with others. He asked people what their favourite food was, if they had pets, if they had seen the new show on TV last night, if they knew any nice café nearby. He tried to find the link that would make people keep talking to him, that wouldn’t lead the conversation to a dead end.

One day he asked Suna to eat together at a small restaurant he had spotted on their way back home, telling him he was tired of pre-made shitty meals. 

He accepted.

They spent the night eating too much, laughing when a piece of meat kept falling from Komori’s chopsticks, sharing tips about how to remember how to set the washing machine. 

It still wasn’t enough for Komori, but at least it was a start.

_____________________

From that night on, they spent more and more time together.

They walked back home after practice together, they started going out -alone, but more often with other teammates- on friday nights, they sat together on the bus during away matches, but they especially started texting each other incessantly.

Suna was known as a social media aficionado, and surprisingly Komori seemed to spend a lot of time on the Internet too, posting pics and video of whatever he was doing at any hour of the day and sending memes and stickers in every group chat or DM he interacted with. Suna found the latter so sappy that it made him laugh, so maybe Komori’s effort worked.

They were getting closer and closer, without even knowing it.

___________________

Text from: Komori, 11:34pm

hey look at them! it's us!!!

[picture of two pigeons, just standing on a sidewalk]

Text to: Komori, 11:37pm

who is who tho

Text from: Komori, 11:38pm

you are the gray one i am the brown one

the gray one remind me of that sweater of yours

the one that looks like a grandma knitted it lol

Text to: Komori, 11:38pm

why are insulting my sweater now

Text from: Komori, 11:39pm

i wasn’t insulting it

it’s cute!!! i swear!!!

_______________________

Twitter user @sunarintarou26

so @komori_m and i are sharing a hotel room rn and dude is taking way to long on the toilet so for every minutes he stays there i'll share an embarrassing fact about him

  1. he has bowel problems when he eats too much beans (like today)



  1. he owns a pair of crocs i saw them i was there



  1. he didn't believe rhinoceros and hippopotamus were different species until like four months ago



  1. once he tried to put on my eyeliner and he accidentally hurt his eye and couldn't see for two hours. it looked like shit anyway



Twitter user @komori_m

@sunarintarou26

bro i was away for like 5 minutes i thought we were friends????

Twitter user @komori_m

@sunarintarou26

also i don't own a pair of crocs i never did this is a lie

_______________

Text to: Suna♡, 7:08pm

send n&]#s

*n↓-$]

Text from: Suna♡, 7:09pm

send what?????

nudes??????

Text to: Suna♡, 7:45pm

no names

like cute names

my sisters cat just got kitties

i need to name them

sorry my hands were slippery lol

Text from: Suna♡, 7:47pm

call them kitty

kitty1

kitty2

kitty3

it's easier

thats what u r gonna call them anyway

Text to: Suna♡, 7:47pm

but would they like to be just called kitty

Text from:Suna, 7:48pm

they live in a world of fluff and bliss

they dont care if u call them kitties

Text to: Suna♡, 7:48pm

what if i start to call U kitty

would U not be offended

what if i started calling u that out of spite

Text from: Suna♡, 7:53pm

i wouldnt mind lol

also what spite do u have lmaooo

_______________________

Text to: Komori, 5:12pm

ive got a favour to ask u

its important

pls answer this asap

Text from: Komori, 5:14pm

what

what happened

who died

r u hurt

Text to: Komori, 5:14pm

can u come over

to my house

and bring milk

Text from: Komori, 5:15pm

why do u need milk

wasnt it an emergency

Text to: Komori, 5:15pm

im out of milk and i want hot cocoa it IS an emergency

Text from: Komori, 5:15pm

then go out and buy it

Text to: Komori, 5:16pm

nope

im already in my pjs

Text from: Komori, 5:17pm

what do i get from it

Text to: Komori, 5:18pm

my eternal love and gratitude

and maybe a bit of hot cocoa

Text from: Komori, 5:36pm

open up im in front of ur door

i hope at least u also got cookies while we're at it

___________________

"Are you scared, Suna?" Komori knocked teasingly an elbow to his waist.

It was a cold, dark and cloudy night and they were standing in front of a haunted house.

Well, it wasn't exactly a haunted house, it was just a spooky attraction that promised to be realistically scary. It had opened a few months ago, and a bunch of members of their team decided to go there for some "bonding time".

Suna struggled to see how it could help them bonding, but it could've been worse.  _ They may have taken us to some holiday village doing games like letting yourself fall while someone picks you up. At least this one will end quickly _ , he thought.

"Am I supposed to be scared of a bunch of employees wearing costumes and a few papier-mache statues?"

"Oh, look at how self-confident you are, wait until we go in and you start screeching like a baby."

"You know, I googled this place a few hours ago, and the website said the building is actually built on an ancient cemetery? What if it's really haunted?" Now it was Suna who elbowed him to his waist. "Are you the one scared now?"

Komori didn't have the time to answer, as the group was ushered beyond a black velvet curtain.

In the end, Komori ended up being the first of the group to scream, falling for the second zombie they met. He kept yelping for the rest of the time and hiding behind anyone he found nearby.

Suna looked pretty chill, barely moving his head to see where a monster came from, but deep down he may have found the place a bit upsetting, making his heart skip a beat for any noise.

They didn't know who did it first or how it happened, maybe remembering it would have been more awkward, but by the time they walked beyond another black velvet curtain Komori and Suna were holding hands, quite tightly.

They didn't even notice it until they were out of the building, walking back to their bus stop.

______________________

Text from: Komori, 3:53pm

hey suna i watched that horror movie u recommended me

and i kinda got inspired

do u want to do a séance w me

Text to: Komori, 3:59pm

is it an excuse to hold my hand???

________________________

Instagram account @sunarintarou

[mirror selfie]

new eyeliner how do i look

replies:

@komori_m30 gorgeous!!! sexc!! kill me w that eyeliner of urs!!

_________________________

Text to: Suna♡, 11:39am

what im gonna do nowww

dont leave me

who will take care of me then

who will take care of the babies then

Text from: Suna♡, 11:42am

they r not babies they are cactuses

they are plants u dont have to take care of them

ill be away for like 3 days 

they wont even need water 

Text to: Suna♡, 11:43am

then ill wait for u like this

[meme of a cat staring longingly out a window]

____________________________

“So how was your trip back home?” Suna asked, walking with Komori to their gym

Komori sighted, then released a little laugh.

“It went well, I guess, but then I started chatting with this very old auntie about how one of my high school teammate was getting married and I think she didn’t hear me well so she got convinced that I was the one getting hitched. She kept talking to me about it for like two whole days.”

“And you didn’t tell her anything?”

“I tried to explain to her that she understood me wrong, but she had a hard grip on me and I got tired, so I went along with the lie.”

“You literally lied to an old lady, don’t you feel guilty?

“In my defense she’s very old and may die soon, it felt bad to contradict her, she looked so happy. I also told her it’s a secret, so no one else knows it.”

“What if she tells others you’re getting married and they believe it?”

“Why would she do that?”

“I don’t know, old aunties love gossip.”

“Hey,” Komori said, after a while. He stopped walking and brought his hands to his face. “What if the auntie truly comes for me about the wedding?”

“You said you were going along with the lie, what are you gonna do then?“

“I don’t know, and I’m getting nervous because I just thought that she may actually tell that to another aunt of mine. She’s a wedding planner, you know? If she hears a word of it she’ll sure scream at me for not telling her and jump to make plans or something like that.”

Suna laughed, so Komori gave him a light punch to his arm.

“You could fake-date someone.”

“That shit doesn’t work and you watch way too much TV.”

“And you don’t have enough faith in the power of tropes.”

“So who am I supposed to “‘fake date’ then?”

Suna looked at him in the eye, a faint smile on his lips appeared and vanished in an instant.

“I don’t know,” He told him. “Someone you trust.”

Then he turned away, and started walking again.

They may have avoided each other for the rest of the day.

_________________________

Text from: Komori, 2:31am

hey i forgot to tell u

this morning i spoke on the phone with that old auntie i told u about

and she forgot about the wedding thing lol

__________________________

  
  


It was the end of the tournament season, or better, the end of  _ their  _ tournament season. They ranked top 8, which didn’t sound so bad on paper, but it sure felt terrible to lose against the same team you have never won over in the last three years.

So the team decided to douse their frustration away drenching it in alcohol.

Drop by drop, glass by glass, liquid fire danced through their throats while mind and body welcomed it with open arms.

It was well past midnight and most of the members had enough of it, so they all decided to leave.

Suna was tiringly putting on his jacket when he saw Komori staring at him.

“What?” He asked him.

“Are you drunk?”

“No, why do you ask?”

“You’ve acted weirdly for most of the night.”

“Weirdly how?”

“I don’t know, like you were really upset for once.”

“And so what? Do I not have the right to be upset? We fucking lost the championship again against those fuckers, for god’s sake.”

“It’s normal to feel upset, it’s just weird that you’re showing to be so. It’s not like anyone knows what’s on your mind most of the time.”

Suna gave him a perplexed glance.

“What is this supposed to mean?”

“It’s just unusual to see you showing your emotions, I guess.”

Suna turned his back to him, and got out of the bar without saying a word.

“Wait!” Komori struggled to put on his own jacket while he ran through the freezing night outside trying to follow him, then put a hand on his shoulder. 

“I didn’t mean it in a bad way. “

He looked at his face, then quickly turned his gaze away.

“I would like to see, to  _ know  _ what you’re feeling more often, that’s all.”

_____________________

“Congratulations for getting chosen for the Olympic team” and any more casual variations of it were all Komori could find in his notifications, his phone hadn’t stopped buzzing since the news broke out four hours ago.

He got tired and turned his phone off, leaving it on the coffee table in front of him.

He was in Suna’s apartment, both of them sitting on opposite ends of the couch, sharing a blanket and carelessly following a movie on TV.

“Would have you liked it? Being a member of the Olympic team too?” He asked Suna out of the blue.

The other turned his eyes away from his phone screen to stare at nothing, then he exhaled a little laugh. “Do I look like Olympic material to you?”

“I bet you could do it! You have the skills!”

“Nah, I wouldn’t have accepted it even if they asked me anyway.”

“What, you don’t care?”

“It’s not that I lack the ambition to do it, it just seems too much for me. Like getting used to a new team, having to stay away for weeks, carrying our nation’s pride on our shoulders and all that. It’s too much work, I guess.”

“I am proud of you for getting in, you know, right?” He told Komori, a few minutes later, giving him a smile. Komori somehow knew that both what he said and the smile were genuine.

____________________

Komori Motoya was laying on his bed, eyes half-closed, tiredness making him feel so dizzy that he almost forgot that he wasn’t in his bedroom, or in his apartment, or at his childhood home, but in a place where only the best in the world had the invite to stay.

His roommate was already snoring, but he wanted to stay awake for another while. 

His team had won yet another match, but the party right after it sucked away the rush of euphoria the victory had given him.

He looked out of the window, and his gaze met building complexes that had yet to (and probably never will, or so he thought) feel familiar.

It was a bit hard to admit, he believed that it was just his lack of energy to make him think so, but the truth was that deep down he craved to meet another sight when he looked outside. 

He wanted to see the usual street with warm yellow-toned public lights, and a condominium with a window on the fourth floor illuminated, the figure of a reticent boy walking past every once in a while.

_ I miss him _ , he thinks, right before falling asleep, phone still in his hand, right thumb accidentally missing the send button of a “goodnight ♡♡” text.

____________________________

Komori had just finished unpacking his luggage when he heard a knock to his front door.

He opened the door, and let the newcomer in.

“Hey” the newcomer said, his golden green eyes unusually flickering.

“Hey,” Komori answered back.

They stood a meter apart for a few seconds. Then the newcomer threw his hands around Komori’s neck, burying his face in his neck.

Komori put a hand on his back.

___________________________

  
  


Twitter user @komori_m

finally back home, guess who’s kissing the homie rn

[grainy and blurry pic of them, laying on a couch, kissing]

Twitter user @sunarintarou26

@komori_m

babe why did u have to post the pic where we are in our pjs

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys again! You can also find me on twitter, I am @sagimooon there too.


End file.
